Promises in the night

I cannot find sleep.
I watch the shadows on the wall.
The light of the moon filters through the leaves
of the tree outside and shines into my room.
As the moon continues to rise these shadows move
and play upon my bed and upon the walls.
My imagination and dreams are awaken in these shadows.
Why is it that when one cannot sleep at night
that one's thoughts turn to inner reflection?
All dreams seem possible in the middle of the night.
I also contemplate ideas and thoughts,
which I usually would not in the light of day.
I analyze all that I am and what I should and want to be.
I think about God and am grateful for all he has given me.
But, in the middle of the night I make promises to myself,
that are like new year's resolutions...I know that I will not keep them.
Why do all the hopes, dreams and ambitions never see the light of day?
Is it because in the night they seem so plausible?
Are they hidden away in the darkness of the mind
and will not see the light of reality?
Are they like dreams that are so wonderful when dreamt,
but then forgotten, when one awakes?
I lay watching the clock.
Each minute passes so painfully slow.
I see shadows on the walls that remind me of the ghosts of my past.
I see all that I have done right and all that I have done wrong.
Why is it that in the darkness, all my mistakes
and embarrassments come to haunt me?
Why do I think of times that I've tried so hard to forget?
I see images of regret.
There have been good times, but in the night I think of the bad.
The darkness of the night is a reflection of the darker side of my mind.
As sleep finally comes, I try to retain all that I thought,
all the problems I have solved...and all the promises I have made.
Life seems so simple in the middle of the night.
I know, however, that when I do wake up
these thoughts will be but vague memories.
Promises will be broken until the next I cannot find sleep,
and search for answers to my life in the darkness of the night.